24 Week Appointment

I had my 24 week check up today (I am 24 weeks & 4 days). These past couple of days I have been in more pain than what I normally am, so I was ready to get to the doc. Little Eva Faith has been kicking constantly at my cervix for the past few days. In "normal" pregnant women that would be uncomfortable but in me it is very uncomfortable! I am already in pain down there without the kicks so with the kicks I can hardly walk some days. So I was relieved today when Dr.C said the cervix still looks good and is staying pretty well closed. I am loving all the kicking! I guess if that is where she wants to kick then I can deal with it as long as she isn't trying to kick her way out!  I do ask her if she could move and kick somewhere else- she hasn't listened yet...but I know she will soon! *fingers crossed*

Okay so the bad part about my appointment is I have very high blood pressure. It has been a little high but now it is getting way high...I mean very high! They took it three times and the scores were...190/96...193/118....and then again 196/98!! Yeah I know..*GASP*!! So we are believing God will heal this and these meds will help that Dr. C gave me. I go back in a week and see if it has gone down. I am trying not to be worried but as a mother I want to protect and keep my little girl safe. Please pray for Eva's safety and that the meds work!                                                                                                 

                                                             

Finally....an Update!

I haven't updated in awhile- you would think I would be better about this since I am on bed rest but...I'm not. Travis got a job!! Amen to answered prayers!!! (The plant he worked for shut down in March) I can't get over how God has taken care of us during these past 5 months that we were both out of work. I am so glad at how everything worked out because he was able to be with me during the hardest parts of pregnancy and my surgery. God knows perfect timing!

It's unbelievable that I have been on bed rest for over 8 weeks. Time has gone quickly until now. These past couple of days have been so slow. I will be 24 weeks pregnant on Sunday. That is when I gave birth to Landon. It seems like yesterday that he was here and gone. Even though I am pregnant and things are going good it doesn't fill the hole that Landon left in my heart. I still dream about him and wonder what and who he would have been like. I miss him! I know when Eva Faith gets here I will try to find Landon's face in hers and wonder if they would have been alike. It's hard to believe his Heavenly 1 year birthday is coming up Sept. 17th. It seems like yesterday I had to say goodbye.

When we found out we were having a precious girl I had to clean out the nursery. It was very bitter sweet. I was happy to fill it with pink but it was so hard to say goodbye to all the blue. We always kept that door shut. It was "that room" I didn't like to go in. It was such a sad reminder that none of our boys have come home to us. It took the whole night to go through everything. I shed many tears. It was very emotional. It was like the final goodbye to my boys. I was able to give the stuff to 2 good friends that just had baby boys. So I was happy to give them the items so they could use them.

We have been working on the nursery. The pink is moving in! Being on bed rest it has been slowly but surely. I have been ordering stuff online and ran into Hobby Lobby very quickly and picked up some items! I am excited to see the end outcome! I wanted to work on it early and get most of it done while I can get up and move around some. Don't really know what is to come with this bed rest thing. Plus I wanted to enjoy getting her room ready.

 Sometimes with "baby loss mommas" it takes awhile to accept the baby and to truly allow yourself to fully love the baby you are carrying because of fear. I knew I didn't want that to happen and in the beginning I fought that battle. That is one of the reasons we had her name so quickly and the other was it was just perfect for her! We wanted her to be real to us by name. We bought a heart monitor so we could bond with her and feel that connection. That helped and yes I did listen to her almost every night for awhile! I also have bought her several things, well okay many many items but this is another way that helps me feel like she will be coming home. My advise to other moms that are in my shoes is do what you want that helps you during your pregnancy. Don't listen to what everyone else says you should or should not do. It is time for you to think about you and your baby and what will help you during this scary but joyous time. Nothing can explain the feelings and emotions you will feel during all of this. I sure can't at times!

The actual pregnancy part is going good. I am still in pain everyday due to them stitching a nerve into my cerclage. I am learning to deal with it. If I lay down I don't feel it as bad, but to sit up, stand and walk it is constant pain. I only take pain pills when I go out on my "outing days" and if I hurt so bad I can't stand it at home. I get my weekly progesterone shots. Haven't had that many side affects with those. Just the injection sites are very sore and I sweat like crazy!! If you come to my house I will have the fan on high and a box fan on! The box fan goes with me room to room and I also take cold showers! But I think it is all worth it!! Every time I feel her kick and move it brings me great joy. She is a crazy little thing and I love it. I just don't know when she sleeps! I wish I could train her now on her days and nights because she sure has them confused!

I go for my 24 week check-up on Wed. of next week. It will be an emotional but good visit. I delivered Landon 2 days before what was to be my 24 week check-up. I will update after that appointment and hopefully we will have more pics of little Eva Faith!

Baby Girl Albert's Name!

So when we first got pregnant we started thinking of names. This time with names we thought more about the meanings of them. So the first name we picked out for a little girl could not have fit any better. We were waiting to see if there might be another name before we share, but every time we think of her or pray for her this name sticks! 


so, we are naming our sweet little girl....

Eva means "gift of life" and we have Faith that she will be alive in our arms!!

Now when you pray for our sweet little girl you can pray for her by name! God has given us another great gift and we are so thankful for her!

Love,

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

We are so excited to announce that we are having a GIRL!! I think we are still in shock. This pregnancy has been different than the other 2. I have been a lot sicker but I am embracing it and wouldn't change it! When we did the gender US with Landon it took almost an hour because he would not show us anything. I prayed the night before that would not happen with this one. The sweet lady at First Glimpse fit me in because she knew I wanted to find out before my surgery.

I was so excited to find out that I could not sleep the night before and for some reason I was so nervous!

So we started the US and of course our little bundle of joy had her legs crossed! But after a bottle of water and lots of poking and rubbing the belly- she moved and showed us her glory! The sweet lady told Van and then Van told us "I'm having a Sister!" Tears flooded my eyes! I was so excited! And then Van pushed the big blue button and turned off the sonogram machine!! Ha!

We would have been happy with whatever God blessed us with but I think God knew it needed to be a girl. To be honest I was really worried how I would have reacted if it was a boy. I would have been happy but I think I would have felt like I was replacing Landon. We have lost so many boys in our past that I was worried I would have put that baby boy in that category. Some of you may think how could you do that but after so much loss your mind and emotions start to do things to protect you. God knew we needed a change, God knew exactly what He was doing and I am so thankful for that!

So without further a due here is our Sweet baby GIRL!!!

Baby Update!

We went to the doctor this past Tuesday and found out that the Cerclage (stitching of the cervix) is back on the table. The specialist and my doc went back over everything and feel that it would be better if I did have it done. We lost our first baby - at 17 weeks, so the surgery was planned very quickly to place it in my 17th week and no later. I was shocked at the news and a little confused. The specialist explained all the complications that could happen if they placed it with me being diagnosed with Preterm Labor. And now they want to do the procedure! They were honest and said they really could not tell if my early delivers were due to incompetence cervix or preterm labor. So I am getting treatments for both. I started the weekly progestrone shots this week also, they reduce my chance of preterm labor by 30%. Another reason they want to go ahead and stitch my cervix while I have not dilated or have shown any signs of preterm labor is it is safer to do it now than have to do a "rescue cerclage". That is when I start to show signs of labor they place the cerclage then. This causes a high risk of infection- which is not good.

The Cerlcage is planned for Monday morning. I need prayers for my nerves and for the recovery. Pray no infection happens- if that happens it could cause me to go into labor. I can not imagine losing another baby. I pray every morning that my body stays strong and that this isn't the last day I have with my precious baby. This journey has been a huge emotional roller coster but God does give me peace when I allow Him too. To receive anything from God you have to be open to it and fight the devil out of your thoughts and emotions. The devil is powerful but I know my God is bigger than it all!

I will be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy-wow! I knew it would come but when it is really here it makes me nervous! I have been on semi-bed rest for awhile now. Right after my surgery I will be only leaving the house to go to the doctors. After that we will be playing it by ear with the docs. I am due December 19th. Pray I make it to term! Thanks for every one's prayers and continue to pray for me and baby!!

Love,

Progress on Baby Albert

I am 11 1/2 weeks as of now. I have been to the doctor already many many times. Baby is growing and doing good. Baby A gave us a scare last Wed. We went to the doctors right away and did an US. Baby A is so high right now it is pressing on my bladder and other organs causing pain and discomfort. As long as the baby is okay I am fine, I can deal with it!

Well, today we meet with the high risk doctor. It has been talked about since the follow up after we lost Landon that with the next pregnancy I would have my cervix stitched. So we thought we were walking in there to get the surgery date and the when and where. I never realized what a security that was to me until today when we heard the words "I'm not going to stitch your cervix." I felt like my security and safety was being ripped away from me. He diagnosed me as someone with "Preterm Labor" not faulty cervix. So with that being said there really is no treatment except for weekly shots, which I already knew I was getting those.

Preterm Labor is worse because they never really know what causes me or when to go into labor. I feel like we are back to square one with really no answers or help. I am so crushed! Anything can cause me to go into labor and I have to be the one to catch it....I didn't with the last 2 so how is this going to work. I feel like I am a ticking time bomb with a baby. If I do start to go into labor, they have to catch it before I get to 4cm dilated to save the baby. After that there is no stopping it. Wow! So how scary is that...I thought this pregnancy would be different. I thought they would stitch me up to keep the baby safe and sound wait 7 more months then unstitch me and have a baby. Now that's not the case. All my safety has been stripped. Every time I feel any kind of pain or discomfort I have to go to the doctor right away. Those of you who have been pregnant know discomfort and slight pain comes with the course. So how do you distinguished between them before it is to late for me and our baby.

I know God is bigger than ALL of this and I know that He does miracles. I have seen them and have heard about them. So we pray he works a miracle here! I have cried almost all day and the tears won't stop. I didn't know how devastating this news would be and how hard this would be. The devil has put so much fear into me today that I pray God takes it away and I allow Him too. I need peace right now. We just didn't expect any of this today and are still in shock. We need lots of prayers for peace, knowledge and understanding. This journey will test our faith in so many ways!


So with that all being said here is our precious baby that needs all the prayers! We watched Baby A move and wiggle today in my belly, such a great moment. I fall more and more in love every time I see our baby! The pics aren't the greatest, sorry!

Baby A at 8 weeks!

Baby A at 10 1/2 weeks!

Baby A at 11 1/2 weeks!

Sweet profile shot!

We're Pregnant....Again!

Yes you read right, We are Pregnant Again! It is so hard to believe that we tried for years to get pregnant and it never happened. At the time we were very disappointed and discouraged, but once we adopted Van we saw God's perfect plan for our family. Everything fell into place. The love for a child that we wanted to share came to light. We could not imagine our lives without Van. To be honest those long years of infertility and the long nights of crying and hurting went away once we saw his perfect face. I am so amazed at how God works!

So here is to another season that we are clinging to God to show us his prefect plan for our family. Being pregnant for the 3rd time is a miracle and blessing in itself but knowing I have no living children from the other pregnancies breaks my heart. Even though things have not turned out the way we thought, we still hold onto God's word. I still believe He answers prayers and knows the desires of our heart.

This Mother's Day was very strange for me. I really didn't know how to feel or what to feel. We went and visited Landon's grave this morning. It is so peaceful but heart wrenching out there. I prayed over all the Momma's that were celebrating Mother's Day without their babies to hold. It seems like as much as I go out there I would be use to going to a burial plot but I'm not. It still hurts and I always ask myself, "is this really my life?"  But once I saw Van's sweet face at my mom's house (he had to spend the night there sat. night)  it made a lot of my sorrow go away. I will always have a large hole in my heart for my babies who are not in my arms but Van does fill the rest of it up. He is such a big ball of happy energy and I thank God for him all the time! Even though no one spoke of Landon's name today, I thought about him all day and how much I miss him.

It is so hard to believe we are on our 5th child but we are still just trying for the 2nd child. That is just crazy to us. We are so believing and have faith in our God that he knows the right path for our new baby! This baby is in God's hands!

This is our prayer for our new miracle and I ask that you are in agreement with us.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for blessing us with another miracle. We ask that you put a hedge of protection over our baby and our family. We ask that you let this baby grow and function the way you intended for creation to be. We ask for a full term baby. We ask for a strong cervix to hold this precious miracle growing inside.  We ask for healing in my body.We ask that you take away our fears and let us enjoy being pregnant. We ask for wise doctors and staff. We ask that you settle my nerves and accept the fact that I am pregnant again. That I embrace this baby as if it was my first pregnancy. That you give us peace and hope during these months. That you surround us with loving and strong prayer warriors for this baby and our family. That you supply helpers when we might need help. God we just ask that your Will be done during this pregnancy and the walk with you. We cling to you and your Word. It says that when there are 2 or more gathered it shall be done. We so believe your Word and have faith that we will be holding a healthy full term baby the second week of December. Thank you Heavenly Father for letting us be parents to so many children in our hearts! We love you.                  
Amen

I also want to ask that anytime you think of us and our baby that you say a pray for us! We need as many prayers as we can get! I will keep you posted on the growth of our precious baby and the processes we are going through.

Thank you so much for reading this and caring for our family! It's been a long journey so far but we are looking forward to this new journey that we are on!

Love,