Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I Need You



I need you
I need you when my mind is consumed of thoughts of Landon.
I need you when I think I could have done something different "that" day.
I need you when I blame myself.
I need you when I think if Landon had just a week or two more in my womb.
I need you when I think of the delivery.
I need you when I long to feel my baby kick.
I need you when I think of how I could not protect my baby.
I need you when I long to hold him.
I need you when I daydream of Van and Landon playing.
I need you when I wish there were two car seats in the car.
I need you when I get asked "how are you doing?"
I need you when I have to find the words to answer.
I need you when I put on a happy face when deep inside I want to scream & cry.
I need you when I cry so hard I can not see.
I need you when I am alone in my car.
I need you when I want someone to talk too.
I need you when I want to be alone.
I need you when I don't understand.
I need you when I can't find the way to move on.
I need you when I don't want to get out of bed.
I need you when I feel so empty.
I need you when I feel so lost.
I need you when I get mad.
I need you when I get asked "how many children do you have?"
I need you when I see their faces when I respond.
I need you when someone says the wrong thing.
I need you when someone says nothing.
I need yon when I am at work.
I need you when I walk into his nursery.
I need you when I go to his grave.
I need you when I think of the future.
I need you when I think of all the losses.
I need you when people do not understand how great is our loss.
I need you when I can't sleep.
I need you when I remember my sweet baby's face.
Lord I just need you to be....to be with me.

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