Our Forever Family: May 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

We're Pregnant....Again!

Yes you read right, We are Pregnant Again! It is so hard to believe that we tried for years to get pregnant and it never happened. At the time we were very disappointed and discouraged, but once we adopted Van we saw God's perfect plan for our family. Everything fell into place. The love for a child that we wanted to share came to light. We could not imagine our lives without Van. To be honest those long years of infertility and the long nights of crying and hurting went away once we saw his perfect face. I am so amazed at how God works!

So here is to another season that we are clinging to God to show us his prefect plan for our family. Being pregnant for the 3rd time is a miracle and blessing in itself but knowing I have no living children from the other pregnancies breaks my heart. Even though things have not turned out the way we thought, we still hold onto God's word. I still believe He answers prayers and knows the desires of our heart.

This Mother's Day was very strange for me. I really didn't know how to feel or what to feel. We went and visited Landon's grave this morning. It is so peaceful but heart wrenching out there. I prayed over all the Momma's that were celebrating Mother's Day without their babies to hold. It seems like as much as I go out there I would be use to going to a burial plot but I'm not. It still hurts and I always ask myself, "is this really my life?" But once I saw Van's sweet face at my mom's house (he had to spend the night there sat. night) it made a lot of my sorrow go away. I will always have a large hole in my heart for my babies who are not in my arms but Van does fill the rest of it up. He is such a big ball of happy energy and I thank God for him all the time! Even though no one spoke of Landon's name today, I thought about him all day and how much I miss him.

It is so hard to believe we are on our 5th child but we are still just trying for the 2nd child. That is just crazy to us. We are so believing and have faith in our God that he knows the right path for our new baby! This baby is in God's hands!

This is our prayer for our new miracle and I ask that you are in agreement with us.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for blessing us with another miracle. We ask that you put a hedge of protection over our baby and our family. We ask that you let this baby grow and function the way you intended for creation to be. We ask for a full term baby. We ask for a strong cervix to hold this precious miracle growing inside. We ask for healing in my body.We ask that you take away our fears and let us enjoy being pregnant. We ask for wise doctors and staff. We ask that you settle my nerves and accept the fact that I am pregnant again. That I embrace this baby as if it was my first pregnancy. That you give us peace and hope during these months. That you surround us with loving and strong prayer warriors for this baby and our family. That you supply helpers when we might need help. God we just ask that your Will be done during this pregnancy and the walk with you. We cling to you and your Word. It says that when there are 2 or more gathered it shall be done. We so believe your Word and have faith that we will be holding a healthy full term baby the second week of December. Thank you Heavenly Father for letting us be parents to so many children in our hearts! We love you.
Amen

I also want to ask that anytime you think of us and our baby that you say a pray for us! We need as many prayers as we can get! I will keep you posted on the growth of our precious baby and the processes we are going through.

Thank you so much for reading this and caring for our family! It's been a long journey so far but we are looking forward to this new journey that we are on!

Love,

The Journey!

I have been married 7 years to my best friend and the love of my life!! We started trying for a family soon after marriage, but to our dismay things were not going as we planned. We went down the fertility road for about 2 ½ -3 years. Then we turned to Adoption to plan for our forever family! This is how our journey begins with our boys! We got the phone call November the 8th, 2007 and to our surprise we were chosen by a Birthmother to parent her 2 boys!! Our first son, Van Ericson, came home to us November 12th, 2007 when he was 14 months old! I cannot begin tell you how excited and in awe we were to finally have a family! Van is our first miracle! He just turned 3 years old September the 9th. On January the 9th, 2008 our second son, Spencer Travis, was born. We got a phone call the day before we were going to bring him home telling us his Birthmother decided to parent him. Our hearts were extremely broken! For a very long time afterwards I found myself waiting for a phone call telling us to come pick up Spencer. I am still hoping to this day we get that phone call! In late January 2009, Travis and I decided to put our paperwork in for the 2nd adoption. Then a miracle happened! I was pregnant!! I was pretty far along when we found out. Due to my conditions I had nothing to go by to tell me I was pregnant except God telling me to take a test! We were shocked and so excited! Then everything started going wrong. I started to bleed, but to our surprise our baby seemed to be ok. Two days after seeing the doctor and being reassured everything seemed to be good, it happened. I started to miscarry. The miscarriage was a horrible experience in so many ways. We tried making it to the hospital but I lost too much blood and started passing out. The ambulance had to take me the rest of the way. We lost our precious baby around 1 am March 18th, 2009 at 17 weeks. About 2 months later I became pregnant AGAIN! Another miracle! My pregnancy was going perfect! I had no bleeding and nothing major to be concerned about. But to our dismay our 4th child did not make it to term. I went into pre-term labor. Our precious son Landon Thomas was born September 17, 2009 at 4:51pm. He was 24 weeks gestation. He was so early and could not make it on his own. Landon was 1 lb 2 oz, 11 ½ inches long. He went to be with Jesus that same day. We miss him so much and not a moment goes by that we don't think of him. What we would give to hold him one more time! Landon will be forever missed! Then in April of 2010 we found out we were pregnant AGAIN! Another Miracle! I was on bedrest for almost my entire pregnancy, a cerclage was placed and I had weekly doctor visits and shots. Our little GIRL, Eva Faith arrived safe and healthy December 3rd 2010!! A week after given birth to my daughter I had to be admitted back into the hospital with breathing problems.I had to be placed on the ventilator. My family was told I wasn't going to survive and if I did it would be a very long recovery. Well my GOD is bigger and He healed me and I was albe to be home for Eva's first Christmas!!This is not the journey that Travis and I would have chosen for ourselves but God has given us this journey and we are trying to learn from it everyday! In the beginning we would ask the question “Why God?” but now our question has changed to “what purpose God?” (To know more about the day Landon went to be with Jesus click below on 10/28/09- The Day it Happened.)