Well, today we meet with the high risk doctor. It has been talked about since the follow up after we lost Landon that with the next pregnancy I would have my cervix stitched. So we thought we were walking in there to get the surgery date and the when and where. I never realized what a security that was to me until today when we heard the words "I'm not going to stitch your cervix." I felt like my security and safety was being ripped away from me. He diagnosed me as someone with "Preterm Labor" not faulty cervix. So with that being said there really is no treatment except for weekly shots, which I already knew I was getting those.
Preterm Labor is worse because they never really know what causes me or when to go into labor. I feel like we are back to square one with really no answers or help. I am so crushed! Anything can cause me to go into labor and I have to be the one to catch it....I didn't with the last 2 so how is this going to work. I feel like I am a ticking time bomb with a baby. If I do start to go into labor, they have to catch it before I get to 4cm dilated to save the baby. After that there is no stopping it. Wow! So how scary is that...I thought this pregnancy would be different. I thought they would stitch me up to keep the baby safe and sound wait 7 more months then unstitch me and have a baby. Now that's not the case. All my safety has been stripped. Every time I feel any kind of pain or discomfort I have to go to the doctor right away. Those of you who have been pregnant know discomfort and slight pain comes with the course. So how do you distinguished between them before it is to late for me and our baby.
I know God is bigger than ALL of this and I know that He does miracles. I have seen them and have heard about them. So we pray he works a miracle here! I have cried almost all day and the tears won't stop. I didn't know how devastating this news would be and how hard this would be. The devil has put so much fear into me today that I pray God takes it away and I allow Him too. I need peace right now. We just didn't expect any of this today and are still in shock. We need lots of prayers for peace, knowledge and understanding. This journey will test our faith in so many ways!
So with that all being said here is our precious baby that needs all the prayers! We watched Baby A move and wiggle today in my belly, such a great moment. I fall more and more in love every time I see our baby! The pics aren't the greatest, sorry!
Baby A at 8 weeks!
Baby A at 10 1/2 weeks!
Baby A at 11 1/2 weeks!
Sweet profile shot!
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