Our Forever Family: Christmas Card

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Christmas Card

I had not been looking forward to Christmas, for the obvious reasons.One of them is I didn't want to send out cards, mostly because I didn't know what to put on them.I knew the time was coming and I had to decide. If you know me this is something I love doing. It's so much fun sending and receiving Christmas cards. I love comparing them from the year before and seeing how the family has changed or grown. Our family has changed so much in this past year and has grown. So I didn't really know what or how I was going to do the card. I prayed about it. Then I came up with an idea. I thought it was a great idea but I knew it would make some people uncomfortable. So I prayed again. I talked to our photographer, Jenny at http://www.jennyevelynphoto.com/ , and she agreed to do the photo. When we were taking the photo I still wasn't sure I was going to use it. Jenny emailed me the photos and I loved them. I cried. I cried tears of saddness, that this was even my reality and then tears of happiness, that I finally have a family photo. These pictures mean so much to Travis and I . I sat late at night online making our cards. When it was time to send them to be printed, I hesitated. I just wasn't sure.

Our cards didn't go out until the week of Christmas. Delayed by days and hours because of worry over how Landon's photo on the cards might be received. I think sometimes I worry too much about whether or not my grief is convenient or uncomfortable for other people. I sent the cards despite my fear. This is our family and this is our reality. I love them. I just hope the ones that received them saw an angel and not just our baby that has passed.

Here are the pictuers that were on our card...Our First Family Photo!!

My Boys, Van Ericson & Landon Thomas

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and I am looking forward to the New Year! I believe God's blessings are going to flow on our family and many more!

With love from Travis, Melissa, Van & our sweet Angel in Heaven Landon Thomas

3 comments:

jennyevelynDecember 30, 2009 at 9:31 PM
Melissa I am so proud of you for being just you. You are such a speical person and you have to be true to yourself and your greiving process. I am honored to have been able to help you capture this years christmas card. Love you. Jenny
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Kelly @ Sufficient Grace MinistriesJanuary 6, 2010 at 7:57 PM
Your family picture is beautiful. I'm so glad you shared it here...and also on your Christmas cards. This post shares something I think many grieving parents struggle with...worrying about whether their grief is convenient or acceptable to others. (You said it better, but I'm too tired to go back and check your exact wording!)

I wanted to stop by and thank you for sharing your heart with me on my "peeling back layers" post. Also, wanted to spend some time in prayer for you. I've read a little more of your journey, and my heart just breaks with and for you. Your sweet family has walked through so much. I am so sorry for the loss of both of your precious sons, Patrick and Landon. I would love to send you a Dreams of You Memory Book. If you would like one, please just email me (sufficientgraceministries@gmail.com) and let me know.

Praying God's continued comfort and sufficient grace for you and your family as He carries you on this journey...
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AmandaJanuary 6, 2010 at 11:01 PM
I don't know you, but I came accross your blog and feel like I need to say something to you. My heart goes out to you and all you have been through. You have a very beautiful family and I know you miss those boys who are in Heaven. Reading your story makes me realize how in great our Father is that he has taken care of you and all your boys through this very trying time. I will never know what you are going through but I just wanted to say that you are in my prayers.
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The Journey!

I have been married 7 years to my best friend and the love of my life!! We started trying for a family soon after marriage, but to our dismay things were not going as we planned. We went down the fertility road for about 2 ½ -3 years. Then we turned to Adoption to plan for our forever family! This is how our journey begins with our boys! We got the phone call November the 8th, 2007 and to our surprise we were chosen by a Birthmother to parent her 2 boys!! Our first son, Van Ericson, came home to us November 12th, 2007 when he was 14 months old! I cannot begin tell you how excited and in awe we were to finally have a family! Van is our first miracle! He just turned 3 years old September the 9th. On January the 9th, 2008 our second son, Spencer Travis, was born. We got a phone call the day before we were going to bring him home telling us his Birthmother decided to parent him. Our hearts were extremely broken! For a very long time afterwards I found myself waiting for a phone call telling us to come pick up Spencer. I am still hoping to this day we get that phone call! In late January 2009, Travis and I decided to put our paperwork in for the 2nd adoption. Then a miracle happened! I was pregnant!! I was pretty far along when we found out. Due to my conditions I had nothing to go by to tell me I was pregnant except God telling me to take a test! We were shocked and so excited! Then everything started going wrong. I started to bleed, but to our surprise our baby seemed to be ok. Two days after seeing the doctor and being reassured everything seemed to be good, it happened. I started to miscarry. The miscarriage was a horrible experience in so many ways. We tried making it to the hospital but I lost too much blood and started passing out. The ambulance had to take me the rest of the way. We lost our precious baby around 1 am March 18th, 2009 at 17 weeks. About 2 months later I became pregnant AGAIN! Another miracle! My pregnancy was going perfect! I had no bleeding and nothing major to be concerned about. But to our dismay our 4th child did not make it to term. I went into pre-term labor. Our precious son Landon Thomas was born September 17, 2009 at 4:51pm. He was 24 weeks gestation. He was so early and could not make it on his own. Landon was 1 lb 2 oz, 11 ½ inches long. He went to be with Jesus that same day. We miss him so much and not a moment goes by that we don't think of him. What we would give to hold him one more time! Landon will be forever missed! Then in April of 2010 we found out we were pregnant AGAIN! Another Miracle! I was on bedrest for almost my entire pregnancy, a cerclage was placed and I had weekly doctor visits and shots. Our little GIRL, Eva Faith arrived safe and healthy December 3rd 2010!! A week after given birth to my daughter I had to be admitted back into the hospital with breathing problems.I had to be placed on the ventilator. My family was told I wasn't going to survive and if I did it would be a very long recovery. Well my GOD is bigger and He healed me and I was albe to be home for Eva's first Christmas!!This is not the journey that Travis and I would have chosen for ourselves but God has given us this journey and we are trying to learn from it everyday! In the beginning we would ask the question “Why God?” but now our question has changed to “what purpose God?” (To know more about the day Landon went to be with Jesus click below on 10/28/09- The Day it Happened.)